(Scott) Wow, what can I say, September 19, 2008, 3:06 AM at Fletcher Allen hospital in Burlington, Vermont is a date, time and place I will never forget. That is where the feelings for my wife multiplied by infinity, and a new love was born into my life forever. Addison Ella Murray was born on that date and time, and my life is forever changed. Jill and I are so happy to welcome her into our lives and are dedicated to giving her a life of altruistic love and happiness.
This blog is our way of keeping our family and friends in touch with our daughter from hundreds of miles away. We encourage you all to check into our blog regularly and see how Addison and our new family of three is doing. We will do our best to keep this up to date and include stories, photos and video for our family and friends to see. As my brother Shawn or cousin Christine would tell you, we may not have much time for stuff like blogs or the internet now that we have a baby, but we will try. Both for the friends and families of Jill and myself. Keep in mind though, as my brother Tom and I would have to tell Shawn, now that he is a new Uncle, there is no such place as Negative Town in Uncle World. You can be grumpy as a dad, and walk around in your boxer shorts all day, but not in Uncle World. As an Uncle you have to take it up a notch, looking good and having fun all the time in the presence of your nieces/nephews. There is a lot of responsibility as an Uncle. This, for my part, is for my parents and step-parents, my brothers and their families, my friends in Arizona and all over, and for my cousins, aunts and uncles and their families. And for Jills part it is for her family and friends here in Vermont and elsewhere, as well as her father and step-mother in Texas.
I had so many friends tell me about the indescribable love and affection they felt for their newborn child at the time of conception, an innate and instinctual feeling of emotion that came over them that drew them directly to their child. I love Addison as much as everyone said I would. My experience was everything everyone described, yet nothing like I expected. Jill was in the hospital for several days leading up to the birth of our child, and had a long delivery. She went through a process that no movie, or conversation can describe. Being the person there at your wife's side is not fair, and you feel "survivors guilt" for watching her go through the agony of birth, while you stand there and simply give comforting words. Its not fair. Especially for my wife its not fair, because she is literally the sweetest person I have ever known. The nurses were honestly amazed that throughout the entire process, she had a fantastic attitude, never called me any names, and never once said 'a cuss word' as the medical staff joked.
We first went in Monday evening where they applied a gel to soften her cervix, we went home and returned first thing Tues morning where they induced her into labor. The inducement just did not work, so they took her off the IV drugs at midnight and let her eat and sleep. The inducement takes a toll on you though. Wednesday morning they started the inducement again through the IV, and it didn't work again, so at about 10Pm they applied a balloon that manually expands your cervix, to about 3cm. That helped to progress the inducement drugs into her system and on Thursday, she started having pretty deep contractions, that were painful. After a period of time, she realized that it was going to be too painful, too soon, and so she got an epidural, which she planned on to begin with, but didnt know when. That helped considerably, and late that evening she was fully dilated to 10cm. The epidural can only do so much, and when the pain of contractions turns to pressure of the infant going into your birth canal, no safe drug can prevent the pain.
At 9PM the "Push" started, and 5.5 hours later, little Addison still did not want to come out past the cervix.I think I had lost my faith, way before Jill, who continued to forge ahead, with 'Ok, lets do another push." At hour 5, I was frankly getting mad, not at Jill by any means, but at the doctors. Jill simply was not going to give up, but she was so weak, tired, and consumed by the drug that had taken a toll on her body, for the past three days straight. We were now in Friday early morning after 2AM and I started to look at the doctors with anger on my face, to say "Lets do something different, and now." They must have known, I was upset, because for the last couple hours, they refused to even look in my direction. My thought, was lets, bust out some tools...vacuum device, forceps, I don't care, salad tongs, but this is not working, so we either need to use something else or go to the C-section because to no fault at all of Jill's, the baby just was not passing the pelvis. This all needed to end for Jills sake, because when her spirit changed, her health or the baby's health may turn. I was overcome with emotion and admiration of Jill, who gave it her all.We finally came to a point where we began a discussion with the doctor of devices that could assist. And Jill agreed with the Doctor to use the suction device (they call it a vacuum, but I dont). I whole heartedly agreed.
The suction device looks like something you would buy over the telephone on an infomercial. A soft plastic device with a trigger at one end and a suction cup at the other...not complicated. I think it was invented by Dr. Mattel. Some medical supply company probably charges $1000 for the thing, but I swear it is made in China for a $1.Well that $1 device from China's sweat factory was the best money Jill and I ever invested in. With its assistance it took about three hard pushes to get our little girl out past the pelvis and out into the open air. I got to see her from the onset of her exit, and it takes a few seconds to realize exactly what your seeing, even though you know she is coming out head first. I was scared she was not ok, until I heard her give out a poor excuse for a scream, a mere whimper, and then a minute later, she tested out the new vocal cords in a loud bout of crying. We were overcome with emotion to hear our new little girl screaming and crying. It hits your right then: this is for real, and I love it.
The doctors wanted me to immediately come over to visit with my new daughter, who was on the isolette, being cared for, but that was not my concern then, my concern was Jill first and foremost. I could hear Addison crying and knew she was well cared for, but I wasn't going to leave my wife's side right then. Addison would have to wait this time, Jill was my first love and the reason for Addison's existence. I would need to ensure Jill was ok, physically and mentally before I visited with my new girl. Jill and I hugged each other and spoke as we looked at the far side of the room to see our Addison screaming and crying as they cleaned her of the fluids that covered her body. After a few minutes, Jill told me to visit Addison and get our first picture, where I went and snapped our fist photograph of Addison still on the Isolette, getting all her vitals checked out. I first noticed her eyes looked like mine, her nose like Jills and she had a big mouth and extra long toes for such a little girl. The big mouth must come from Jills side of the family...just kidding, that is what Jill said actually. Never the less, Addison Ella Murray was beautiful, and she was ours to keep. This one had no return policy, and there was no way the stork was going to be able to get her back from us anyways.
I went back to Jill, and spent time with her as they continued to address the trauma to her system. After a short time, the nurses brought Addison over to us, and we spent our first moments as a family of three. Now I have two beautiful women in my life forever. I snapped a photo of Jill holding Addison, and I couldn't believe how good Jill looked after going through that. Thats my girl. She is a fighter, dont let her sweet personality, favor of MTV's The Hills, refusal to cuss or see scary movies, or get on roller coasters fool you. She is tougher than I and most others that I know. That night I did not sleep well, not because of the birth of Addison, but because of the birthing process by my Jill. Jill said the experience was well worth having our little girl, and very pleased she was able to deliver her without surgery.
The next morning we woke up, and Jill felt unexpectedly well due to lots of Tylenol and Motrin in combination. That is when I could finally fall in love, faster than I ever had before, with a 7lb 9oz girl named Addison Ella Murray. Now I am a dad, an awesome responsibility, that I would not have any other way. She is my little girl, and I am hers for eternity.
